Kraft Dinner

Since this blog was a mere gleam in our eye, not yet conceived, I have had a nagging concern. As I have explained, this is not something that Jamie has taken up solely for the entertainment of what I like to call "the internets". No, this has been a long-running quirk of his. Well, I'm not sure if you could call it a quirk. I maintain it's a disorder, just one that does not happen to be in the DSM-IV. But my concern is this:

How far is too far?

I don't think we've reached that limit quite yet. But yesterday, I saw the limit on the horizon. Waiting. Knowing that someday, we would meet, and we would try to cross.



Gaze for long into an abyss, and the abyss gazes also into you.

A confession that will surprise no one: I cannot abide Kraft Dinner. The smell alone has been known to cause slight retching. Though in my defense, my horror of this Canadian favourite dates back to my childhood, wherein I would often see my dad mix up a batch, add ketchup and chopped-up hot dogs, sit down with a spoon and a can of lime soda, and dig right in. (I'm sure Freud would chime in with some comment about an Elektra Complex here, but I think it's as simple as this: boys are gross.)

I don't think I need to tell you what's coming here, so I'll just let the video speak for itself.


Kraft Dinner from Project Cheese on Vimeo.

And that is the last of that. Or so you would think.


Aftermath from Project Cheese on Vimeo.

My poor baby. But what a trouper. Let's ask him what the ratings are.

Deliciousness: 2/5. "Initial flavour was spicy, creamy... but did have a funky aftertaste."
Ill-Advised: "VERY. Only do this if you are in an epic battle with your lower intestine and are looking for the finish move to prove once and for all who is in charge. Read: this will be painful."
Verdict: "While initial impression is that this could only be a brilliant idea, and the first tastes do support that... it goes downhill faster than you thought possible."

So there you have it. Don't do that.

I can't say what the next installment will be, mainly because these things are often spur of the moment. But suggestions are always welcome. In the meantime, I'm going to douse the kitchen in holy water. That smell clings.